From The Cradle to The Stage

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

goldie (bol)locks and the 3 bowls of cereal

The kid has been special since his tiny tot days. Getting up to no good and entertaining the whole family (most of them, most times) in the process. I was destined for greatness (READ: unparalleled weirdness) before birth even. My middle name is Oluwayomi, which in Yoruba translates as “God saved me.” That is my name because my mother had complications and was ill the entire time she carried me. So you see, even before he was born, he was a handful! However, on a serious note, I do thank God we both made it!

Anyhoo, back to work. This is the first installment of what promises (I hope) to be an interesting read. So blog lovers (or the jobless or those I forced to read my blog), without further ado, I bring to you:

Why you little…

I don’t remember how old I was but I know I was rather young because I was still at kindergarten while my brothers were in primary school already. So, what had happened was, it was morning and time to get ready for school. Little ole me got ready first and went to the dinning table to indulge in my favorite pastime – the healthy consumption of food!


Anyway, I got to the table and it had been set for mama’s boys. Three bowls of cereal, all covered up, each eagerly awaiting its devourer. Well, they wouldn’t have to wait much longer now, would they? Young Chichi was about to handle business. The kid loved cereal and still goes gaga over Frosted Flakes (they’re gggggggggggggggreat!) and has rediscovered his love for Coco Pops all of a sudden. I wonder why... that is however irrelevant to the tale at hand.

Anyway, the brothers come out to meet their little runt brother at the table doing justice to his cereal, characteristically spilling milk and corn flakes all over the table. They make fun of the young glutton and proceed to embark on their own journey to breakfast ville. So, they take their places, uncover their bowls and then the drama unfolds for no apparent reason.

Big bro Ik lifts up his covering, takes a look at what should be a lovely breakfast and just starts bawling… HARD! That startles middle bro ‘Lanre and myself but I cannot be bothered and keep shoveling overflowing spoons into the gaping hole in my face. ‘Lanre snaps back to reality and uncovers his own meal. For a little boy, this is rather disturbing but the words I remember hearing him yell out were something to the tune of: “Mummy! I am going to kill your son!” which ultimately brought mother dearest rushing out – for no apparent reason once again – to attend to the bawler and intended murderer. I just sat wondering what all the fuss was about but kept shoveling away anyway. That was more important than all the noise.

Ok. Let me explain. What had happened was, I uncovered what I figured was my food and it just wouldn’t do. It didn’t even reach the edge of the bowl! There was too much space left from the rim of the bowl to the top of the milk. Chichi don’t play that. So, rather than be shorted (Bone Thugs n Harmony would many years later release a song called “No Shorts, No Losses”), and being to lazy too file a formal complaint to whoever, young Chichi just helped himself to Ik’s portion and then ‘Lanre’s, based on the assumption that theirs would surely be replaced. Heck, I was even kind enough to cover the bowls back when I was done and I didn’t even spill! Ok. So I cleaned the spills after I was done BUT that doesn’t mean I was being dubious!

So that was what all the fuss was about, that their baby (still growing mind you) brother had helped himself to some nourishment. I have long since forgiven them though as we are family. No need to hold a grudge, right? I knew you’d understand.


Look out for more tales to come.

Ta ta.

PS – Brother man was bawling out of frustration because apparently, Chichi had done this several times before. So you’d think they’d be used to it by then, no? Sheesh!